Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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