I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
