I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There r osticjed everywhere
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize