Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
