last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
