I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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