Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize