1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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