respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
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I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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