i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
