The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
