I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
