you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize