He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think my moral compass just broke
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