I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just pee around me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
