The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
