I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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