Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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