i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
