he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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