Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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