I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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