Plan B is the new Plan A
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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