Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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