u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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