I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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