didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize