using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
