Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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