if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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