When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
