Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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