8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
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Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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