Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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