It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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