just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
