Im at strip club and am horny
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
