Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
