oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
