great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
