who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize