i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
