That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
