I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
