The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize