I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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