Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize