If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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