How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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