She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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