its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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