I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
