so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
