Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
