i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
