Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
